Co-Parents: Beware of the Negativity Bias

Co-Parents: Beware of the Negativity Bias

Our brains have what’s called a negativity bias. That is, our brains are much more likely to “take in” negative experience than positive experience. Neuropsychologist Rick Hanson says that our brains are like velcro for negative experience and like teflon for positive...
Wishing You Can Change Your Co-Parent?

Wishing You Can Change Your Co-Parent?

Are you frustrated by the behavior of your co-parent?  Have you tried every which way to get them to see things differently, or to behave better?  Wouldn’t it be grand if you could get them to change? The reality is that you can’t change anyone. People change...
“Broken” Home: The Power of Language

“Broken” Home: The Power of Language

We refer to homes in which the parents are divorced as “broken” homes and we refer to homes in which parents remain married as “intact” homes. What do these descriptors say about what we believe to be true about these two different types of families? Language is...
BEING vs. DOING

BEING vs. DOING

When I teach co-parenting classes, the questions I get about parenting issues often start with “What do I DO when my child…” But I think a better question would be “How do I BE when my child…” And the answer to that question is always the same: BE PRESENT. What we...
Holiday Truths for Co-Parents

Holiday Truths for Co-Parents

Parents want the holidays to be happy for their children. Unfortunately, if there is conflict about schedules and details, co-parents wind up unintentionally hurt their children. Children need ground under their feet. Their foundation, their ground is solid when they...